21

The brother-in-law's movie came out tops at the domestic box office this past weekend. To celebrate, here are twenty-one things I learned on our recent trip to Seattle and Las Vegas. [Warning: This post is a little scatter-brained, but it's hard to sum up a five-day trip in one blog post, especially if the trip included attending a movie premiere.]

1. It's true: In Seattle, it rains like the dickens.

2. The only reason I didn't get pulled over by a state trooper for driving 20 miles over the speed limit on Route 90 was because she had already arrested some other guy and was driving him off to the precinct.

3. Remember: if you go hiking downhill with a three-year-old, you're going to have to carry him on your shoulders on the way back up.

4. The only ingredients that should ever be in blueberry jam: blueberries, sugar, water, pectin.

5. The Microsoft employee store reminded me of the Princeton University Engineering Quad: lots of bespectacled Asian guys hanging around in groups of four.
6. Seattle natives are shoddy dressers, but they make up for it by being awfully nice.

7. People who travel to Vegas to attend a convention will tell everyone around them. The ones who go for any other reason won't say a word.

8. Vegas tap water tastes horrible.

9. Vegas buffets are a good deal, but if you only have a half-hour to eat, nothing is a good deal.

10. It pains me to say this, but the cocktail waitresses at Caesar's Palace look like they just came off the bus from the retirement home.

11. I discovered there are three movie-related things that make me cry with joy: The opening credits for Superman: The Movie. Any Pixar film. And listening to the soundtrack to Rudy.

12. Noise-canceling headphones are nice for everyday use, but where they really earn their keep is on a trans-continental flight.

13. Carrying open containers of liquor on the Vegas Strip appears to be a perfectly legal activity.

14. Being a real movie star must be tiring, especially for the facial muscles.
15. Even in Vegas, it's impossible to find a place that sells bottles of vodka at 2:00 in the morning.

16. Emeril Lagasse's restaurant at the MGM Grand is good, not great. But they do have an awesome metal fish sculpture at the entrance.

17. Kevin Spacey is taller than I thought he'd be. The IMDb says he's 5-feet-10-and-a-half, which sounds about right.

18. There is nothing much different about the Playboy Club at the Palms compared to any other Vegas club, which I guess says something about Vegas.

19. Vegas showgirls are not that sexy -- all those feathers and sequins are kind of scary, actually.

20. If you tip the bathroom attendant at the Living Room in Planet Hollywood, he will offer you a breathmint.

21. People will tell you that you have to experience Vegas in small doses. They say you can't stay longer than three days, because it'll drive you crazy. I say: as long as you step outdoors for three hours of daylight each day, you could probably stay a whole week.