When ballers play soccer

I'm not the regretful type, but today, I really wished I had a genuine Spalding basketball. You see, if I'd owned one, I could have brought it down to Nike Field in Sara D. Roosevelt Park this evening, whereupon the likes of Baron Davis, Jason Kidd, Leandro Barbosa and Steve Nash would have gladly signed their names on its bumpy leather surface.

Alas, all I had was a France national soccer team t-shirt, and Thierry Henry left before I could persuade him to autograph it.

See what I mean by regret? How often does Steve Nash organize a free charity football match in New York's Lower East Side in which some of the NBA's best players rub shoulders with international soccer stars like Henry, Salomon Kalou, Claudio Reyna, Robbie Fowler and Steve McManaman?

Okay, I'm not entirely disappointed. After all, I got to pat Baron Davis's sweaty shoulder (yes, I had to reach up to do so).

Maybe the problem was that I got there too late. The game started at 5:30 PM, and by the time I arrived, there were only ten minutes until halftime. It took me all of halftime to wriggle my way to the front of the crowd of several thousand who were clinging to the fence surrounding the field (if you've never seen an urban soccer field before, it's basically a small pitch with no bleachers and a twenty-foot fence on the perimeter).

Everyone stood to watch, but it was worth it -- some of the world's best athletes were playing the beautiful game right in front of us. Steve Nash, a wizard with any rolling object, scored multiple times, athletically so. Fellow Phoenix Sun Leandro Barbosa, aka The Brazilian Blur, was on the same team, playing a sport he must have seemed destined to excel at growing up until sidetracked by basketball (of all things). On the other team, Jason Kidd wasn't half bad, but Baron Davis was by far the weakest player, lumbering around in orange Reeboks, black-rimmed glasses and a baseball hat. To be fair, everyone seemed to be having fun, especially Davis, who jawed with the crowd amiably. And it was hilarious to watch basketball players out of context. That defender looks really familiar. Hey, that's because he's Raja Bell!

It almost goes without saying that the pro soccer players performed well, but Thierry Henry seemed out of it, despite hearing pockets of the crowd chant his name. Kalou was the most active, scurrying all over the pitch and playing give-and-go with Kidd.

At the end of regulation, I didn't even know or care what the final score was. The small crowd that was allowed to sit within the fence quickly rushed the field and surrounded the players, Sharpies and jerseys in hand. I squeezed through a hole in the fence and tried looking for Henry, but he'd already been whisked away into a large black SUV. If I'd gotten to the game earlier, I would have noticed the SUVs were the best place to wait for players post-final-whistle. Kidd and Nash were being mobbed, but since I had nothing for them to sign, I decided to leave. Baron Davis evidently had the same idea -- he walked out the gate just as I did. I didn't have anything for him either, so I simply patted him on the shoulder (twice), wiped my hand on the France t-shirt, and said, "Good game, Baron," as the mob implored Davis to move to New York and play for the Knicks.

Yes, I know what you are thinking, and it is true: I now have Baron Davis's sweat on my t-shirt. Yes, I am wearing it right now. Who needs Thierry Henry's autograph?

Mogul home

I had dinner with some co-workers tonight. Afterwards, we left the restaurant and walked up Mercer Street in SoHo, just a few blocks away from my apartment. A black Mercedes Maybach pulled over right next to us, and out stepped two men. I barely gave them a glance as they quietly entered an apartment building. In truth, I hadn't even noticed that a $400,000 car had just deposited a couple of nondescript guys on the very sidewalk I was on until my co-worker recognized one of them. "That was Irv Gotti. The other guy must have been his bodyguard."

So now I know where Irv Gotti lives. If you don't know who Irv Gotti is, or don't care, this post is not for you.

Knicks at night

My friend Tyler and I went to the Knicks game a Madison Square Garden tonight. We've been to three Knicks games in the last twelve months or so, and the Knicks lost all three games. I said it the other day, so you already know: it hasn't been good for New York sports fans of late.

Still, watching the game was enjoyable, aside from having to tolerate the boorishly loud trio of Cantonese-speaking spectators sitting immediately behind us, and the home team, you know, losing the game. The visiting team was the Houston Rockets, notable for employing the greatest Chinese basketball player in the world, Yao Ming. Yao is also currently the NBA's tallest player, which is sort of like being the smartest student at Harvard. Some of his dunks were so impressive that even Knicks fans cheered despite themselves.

Oh yeah, and a number of celebs were in the crowd, including Zhang Ziyi, Ron Howard (who smiled amiably as the Happy Days theme song played over the arena speakers) and New York Giants running back Brandon Jacobs.

Following Britney Spears

How do you know you're in Hollywood? When you're looking for a parking space outside an apartment building at 2:00 in the morning on Friday, and you have to gently swerve to avoid giggly blond girls spilling out of their cars (and their dresses). Wait a minute, you say. How is that different from New York? Well, in New York, all the cars are cabs, and no one drives except cabbies.

As with New York, I arrived in Los Angeles with a list of things to do, places to go, and food to eat, all of which we will get to in the next few posts. The morning after we arrived, for example, I checked "drive on Mulholland Drive" off my to-do list. Also, I checked "drive past the the parking lot on Ventura Boulevard where Britney Spears drove into a car and left the scene on August 6 2007" off my other list. This other list is called "Things I did unintentionally." Obviously, there is a major sub-section of this list that involves celebrities, because no matter how hard you try, you cannot escape the stifling awareness of celebrity in Los Angeles.

I use the word "celebrity" in the loosest terms, of course.

Coming up... the blondest state.